Mormon Misconceptions about SexBy: Mormon Heretic
After highlighting a Muslim couple dealing with sexual problems, the TLC channel showed a Mormon couple with their own sexual problems. I was frankly astonished at how the couple portrayed Mormon beliefs, because it seems quite outdated. In the show (available on Netflix), Nate and Monique state that are members of the LDS Church, and that premarital sex is wrong. I can’t disagree with that, but what Nate said at the beginning of the show, I do not agree with. Nate said (talking over a shot of the Salt Lake Temple),
“In the Mormon Church, sex is for the purpose of procreation. I’ve been taught all along that sexual pleasure is of the devil.” Later on in the show, he stated, “After 15 years of marriage, I seldom gave myself to even think about what my ideal sex life would be like, because that would be wrong. In the Mormon Church that’s not something that should be done for any reason other than procreation.“
Excuse me??? Let’s see what the LDS Handbook states:
“Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a way of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.“
I’ve never heard that sexual pleasure is of the devil, and I have no idea why this man (who appears to be about 40) felt that way. (Perhaps Nate is conflating premarital sex with married sex being of the devil?) Having been married for about 15 years with 3 children, the couple turned to a sex surrogate for help. It was at this point I learned that the wife had been sexually abused as a child, so it makes a bit of sense why she had issues, but it appears that her husband’s issues were much stronger.
They turned to Mare Simone, a sex surrogate to help their sex life. Unlike the Muslim couple in my previous post, Mare visited their home instead of having them come into a clinic. Mare said, “I am a certified sex surrogate and personal love coach.” TLC defined a sex surrogate as “a member of a sex therapy team who engages in intimate physical relations or sex with a patient.”
Nate stated what he first thought when Monique brought up the idea of using a sex surrogate. “When Monique first told me about wanting to meet with Mare, I was confused. Honestly my opinion would have been not that much different than a hooker.”
Mare indicated that was a common perception. “I know a lot of people feel that a sex surrogate is a prostitute, but really nothing could be further from the truth.” They worked first on Monique’s previous sexual trauma, helping her to feel that pleasure was safe. But Nate seemed to have even more difficulty. He indicated that “Sex for me is scary.” At one point in the show (there was no nudity), Monique, Mare, and Nate participated in a touching session on their bed. Nate exclaimed “I feel shame.” Mare indicated, “I thought Nate was gonna run away.”
Mare indicated that “I prepared to help them recognize the spiritual quality of sexuality. It’s not an easy process. It’s a matter of overlaying a positive thought with a negative thought.” I guess it is just surprising to me that they could have 3 children and yet have so many sexual problems after 15 years of marriage, though I am sure that every couple experiences problems at some point.