Confessing Sexual Sins: Weekend Poll

By: wheatmeister
April 13, 2013

How much detail is appropriate in a confession?  When does a leader go from being helpful to being pruriently interested in the lurid details of a confessor’s love life?  Where do you draw the line?

When does a leader go too far in taking a sexual confession? (choose all that apply)

  • Asking someone to describe sexual acts (e.g. he put his what where? you put your what where?) (92%, 108 Votes)
  • Asking a person to share all sexual thoughts they have had. (91%, 107 Votes)
  • Asking for contact information of sexual partners to call that person's bishop or parents and "out" their activities. (91%, 106 Votes)
  • Sharing information confessed with the leader's spouse privately. (91%, 106 Votes)
  • Asking a person to recount previous sexual acts already repented. (87%, 102 Votes)
  • Telling someone they are responsible for their partner's salvation or not going on a mission or to the temple. (86%, 101 Votes)
  • Asking a person to review each instance of sexual activity rather than simply confessing what the act was. (85%, 100 Votes)
  • Telling someone they have committed an act that is similar to murder in seriousness. (82%, 96 Votes)
  • Asking the person to name their sexual partners. (80%, 94 Votes)
  • Lumping in other non-confessed sins with the sexual confession (e.g. drinking, swearing, etc.) (70%, 82 Votes)
  • Asking for any details about sexual activities beyond ascertaining that the person has a clear understanding of the boundaries to commit sexual sin. (69%, 81 Votes)
  • Sharing information confessed by a minor with their parents. (69%, 81 Votes)
  • Sharing information confessed by a minor with parents when a parent is implicated. (56%, 66 Votes)
  • Asking a person to enumerate the number of times an act was done. (55%, 64 Votes)
  • The sinner has already gone too far and should answer whatever questions they are asked humbly, trusting that the leader is following the spirit in asking them. (14%, 16 Votes)
  • Contacting the police to report statutory rape. (11%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 117

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6 Responses to Confessing Sexual Sins: Weekend Poll

  1. Henry on April 14, 2013 at 1:22 PM


    The W&T site takes a long time to load from any computer or mobile phone I try. It’s as though the server is straining to bring up the website. Do you ever approach a point where you need more bandwidth? I wonder if others are experiencing a similar issue.

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  2. jmb275 on April 14, 2013 at 2:41 PM

    Re henry…yes it’s an issue on the server end. We’re aware of it and a solution is forthcoming. Don’t give up on us!

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  3. Left Field on April 14, 2013 at 10:10 PM

    “Lumping in other non-confessed sins with the sexual confession (e.g. drinking, swearing, etc.)”

    I don’t know what that means. Requiring repentance for drinking and swearing, even without evidence that they’ve done it? That seems a little odd…

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  4. Jennie on April 16, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    When I was a 21 year old missionary, the first time I met my now mission president was in an interview between just him and me. He asked me to tell him all of my sexual fantasies. As a missionary, I honestly didn’t have any. I told him this and he got really mad at me and said “Everyone has fantasies” I was so shocked by the episode that I didn’t even tell my companion. Everyone loved this man so much, and he went all to be a temple president.
    But I didn’t even know who I could have talked to about this. The Elders? of course not! The local bishop? The RS President? I knew then and know even today that nothing would have been done. I was a lowly sister missionary, and he was a Mission Pres.

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  5. DeepThink on April 17, 2013 at 4:22 PM

    Jennie, that’s just creepy. I’m sorry that happened.

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  6. RockiesGma on April 18, 2013 at 5:25 PM

    Wow, Jennie……that’s sick. Not to thread jack, but that’s another reason why women must….MUST….become ordained! They have to be given authority and power to go report disgusting behavior and be able to have something done about it. There’s so much that goes on that isn’t good, and there is no check-and-balance system available. It’s one person’s word against another. Put cameras in the office. Record interview to clear a leader or condemn his backside to hell. Lock those videos up so no one can put them on the Internet. Sheez…..just get out of our sex lives! Do you live the law of chastity? If no, fill out this questionnaire of three questions. Please dot not give details. We’ll go from there. Repentance does not need details, except to God, and He knows them, anyway.

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