There are few things we take for granted more than personal waste elimination. The assumptions many Americans share about bathroom habits may include things like: public toilets are a right, privacy (being in “the privy”) is an expectation, we flush pretty much all things – even when cautioned not to do so, we require at least a square or a ply – probably more, and so forth. As an American who has traveled throughout Europe and lived in Asia for 2 1/2 years, my toilet assumptions have been examined, re-examined, and in some cases flushed away. I have become multi-toilet-lingual, able to find comfort, nay relief, in a variety of toilet situations.
Flush or Trash
When I was a teenager we visited my sister’s house in Northern California. She had posted a sign over the toilet that said “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down.” This was sort of a conservationist attempt, but also symptomatic of faulty plumbing. The trash can was not pleasant as all paper went in it to keep the toilet from clogging. Likewise, in Asia, I found that there were some countries where the plumbing was not up to scratch, so it all had to be placed in trash cans in the cubicle. My father-in-law had a similar experience as a missionary in Mexico, where they threw the used paper directly on the floor, like peanut shells in a Texas Barbecue, only more revolting.
Another expectation that had to go was consistent access to paper. My entire time in Asia, I carried travel tissues with me at all times because you never knew when you would need them. Some countries were reliably well-stocked. Others would surprise you. Some countries had an attendant who would sell you paper along with access to the toilets, even when the toilets were seemingly in violation of the Geneva accords.
What’s In a Name?
Americans are notoriously oblique about what to call the room of requirement. We like euphemistic names such as “the restroom” or even the mysterious “powder room” where I might go to “powder my nose” (or perhaps where powder kegs are stored?). When I asked my British friends if I could use their bathroom, they were initially startled because the “bathroom” is where the bathtub is and is often separate from the water closet where the toilet is. Most Brits simply say “toilet,” which sounds too direct and crass to delicate Americans, as if someone might figure out what we intend to do in there.
Asians are generally more direct in referring to the “toilet.” This was one of the key Mandarin phrases we took with us to China: “Cesuo zai nar” or “Toilet is where?” Unfortunately, our pronunciation wasn’t great (Mandarin is a tonal language; unlike Romance languages that use tone to convey interrogation or emphasis of the sentence, words have different tones that change the meaning of the word). Fortunately, our guide figured out what we were saying before we were forced to act it out.
In Vietnamese, people are even more direct. The phrase “mah quah” literally means “I have to pee or poop.” [1] This is how people ask where the toilets are.
Paper or Water
In Singapore, all toilet cubicles (whether squatters or western style) include a sprayer attached to a hose. When I first saw this I thought it must be for the janitors. However, I was informed that it is the preferred personal cleansing method for Muslims, and most Malaysians are Muslim. That explained why the floor and toilet seat were often wet when I entered. In Bali, the Hindu part of Indonesia, bathrooms include a water basin with a scoop for personal cleansing. Unfortunately, many of the basins I saw near tourist attractions had dead flies floating in the water which really didn’t seem hygienic. I was also a little baffled by the scoop, although eventually my imagination worked it out. Having been in Europe, I had seen and used bidets before, and obviously they have some advantage over paper in terms of actual cleaning ability, although not so much in drying ability. Perhaps Singapore with both together has the best approach. As they say at Burger King, have it your way.
Some of the bathrooms in Singapore had a communal toilet paper dispenser, super-sized, out near the sinks. You needed to stock up before entering your private chamber. This required both forethought and powers of prophecy on some level, and I noticed that there was some social pressure to save trees.
At the Big Buddha statue in Phuket, Thailand, I encountered the most unusual paper of all: actual sheets of paper! I was concerned about the paper cut potential, so I used my trusty personal supply of tissue instead.
Touchless or Seated
The other thing that westerners notice in Asia when using western style toilets is that there are often signs posted warning people not to “squat” on the toilet seats as they may slip and injure themselves, to say nothing of the mess made. Still, on many occasions I found shoe prints and more unspeakable forensic evidence on entering a western style toilet cubicle. Habits die hard for Asians just as they do for us.
While westerners complain that it requires great thigh muscles to use the squatter-style pans that are common across Asia (I also found high heels mostly unworkable), Asians complain that sitting with your bare skin on a seat where the bare skin of others has been is not hygienic. This is one reason a contactless experience is preferred. They have a point. Many western style cubicles in Singapore include sanitizer that can be applied to the seat before using it to prevent the spread of germs or perhaps just to provide peace of mind.
We even encountered some unusual touchless toilets in Europe: a brand new chrome squatter in Croatia that looked like a big shiny shower stall, and a very odd bowl of water on the floor in a Venetian sandwich shop that reminded me of a birdbath basin. Well, I hope that second one was a toilet anyway, considering what we did to it.
Free or Pay
There are some pay toilets in the US, but there sure aren’t many. As Americans, we are used to having free access to clean well-stocked bathrooms; where the bathrooms are found wanting, we have the right to complain; there is often a sign posted asking us to inform management if the restroom is not clean. In every restaurant or store, there is a restroom available. Not so in Asia where most restrooms are shared between multiple businesses and restaurants. Even large chain restaurants like Chili’s, Outback, and Applebees do not have their own toilets in Singapore.
Likewise, there are many toilets that require payment to use, usually to a matron or attendant. In India, almost every toilet required payment which included some paper; however, many of the toilets were in disrepair (to say the least) despite paying to use them.
Our favorite pay toilet experience was on a secluded beach in Bali. We had to hike about a half hour through the jungle to get there from a remote road, so we were surprised to find a shack on the beach selling nasi goreng, mee goreng and french fries. There was also a hand-painted sign advertising a “toilet” (basically a hole dug in the beach but with some privacy): “Small pipi 20,000 rupayah. Big pipi 40,000 rupayah” (roughly 20 cents and 40 cents). As soon as our daughter saw the sign she wanted 40,000 rupayah just for the dubious bragging rights. As I pointed out, we were at the beach, so small pipi is free in the fish toilet (ocean). But she did come back and do victory laps around the table after her beach toilet adventure.
Private or Communal
While Americans expect, nay, demand privacy in our public restrooms, we aren’t actually the most private ones out there. Toilet cubicles in Spain generally have doors that go all the way to the floor and well above head height. Likewise in Singapore. You can’t check to see whose shoes are in the next stall or share a square between stalls in those countries.
Many Asian countries are quite public, though. Not only is privacy not expected, but it’s not even desired. Going to the toilet in rural Cambodia is a social activity. People go in the field, and if they see you squatting, they will come join you to share gossip, swap stories and recipes, or just make small talk. It’s a toilet-going based alternative to Pinterest (there’s no internet in these rural villages, so you take it where you can get it).
In the hutongs of Beijing (old neighborhoods with no indoor plumbing and shared courtyards), there is a community toilet building shared by the entire block. Most people who live in the hutongs never want to leave because they are so close to their neighbors, in part because of this shared experience. Inside the toilets, there are usually 4-6 squatter pan toilets and 1 western style (at least in the women’s). Each is “separated” by an incredibly low wall about 1-3 feet high. There are no doors, and no paper. I used one, and the door to enter also didn’t close, so I was literally making eye contact with pedestrians passing by on the street as I used the facility. A woman came in to use one of the squatters just after I entered, and we had a brief conversation in my very limited Mandarin (not much beyond than “Ni hao ma”). She was quite chatty.
While these community toilets sound utterly foreign to us, the Apostle Paul would have used something very similar in Ephesus (modern day Turkey). We saw a set of public “dunnies” there – approximately 12 toilet seats on a bench that were close enough together that physical contact with your neighbor seems likely. If you don’t like making eye contact at the urinal, imagine your thigh actually touching someone else’s!
On the downside, several countries posted signs that warned about male on female voyeurism in the toilets. In Thailand, a clever or simply disturbing sign showed a stick man with a camera taking a picture of a woman seated on the toilet, and the woman being surprised and dismayed. Other signs showed men peeking through holes at women.
In China, I was briefly alarmed when I walked in to the bathroom and saw a sign on one of the cubicles that said “Disabled Man Cubicle” (handicapped stall – often, there was one western style toilet for the disabled in nicer restaurants and airports). I walked back out to double check, and it was the women’s restroom. They must have just had one pre-made sign for the handicapped stalls, all written in the masculine gender.
The Lap of Luxury
At times we longed for our American toilets: the smell of bleach, the abundant paper towels, the sensor-operated air freshener that exhales fragrantly when you walk by, the inevitable loud cell phone conversation in the next stall over (OK, maybe not that one). But I can honestly say that our American toilets are not the best in the world. The French and Spanish have bidets, which are superior [2]. Even in Indochina (urban areas of Vietnam and Cambodia) they have built in bidets in many of the toilets thanks to French influence. And to be honest, the squatters aren’t bad once you get used to them.
But the best toilets in the world, hands down, belong to Japan. These beauties truly merit the term “throne.” The Japanese may even be a little toilet-obsessed [3]. Not only do many toilets there have a built in bidet with multiple settings, but many also have heated seats, and some even play relaxing music when you sit down. The majority of toilets I saw in businesses and hotels had more controls than the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. Several of the controls looked like something I might have to confess to a bishop.
Toilet assumptions are just one of the things I learned to let go in my travels. I’ll leave you with a final quote:
“In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought . . . I must put a roof on this toilet.” Les Dawson
What’s the most unusual toilet you’ve encountered? Did it change your assumptions or were you relieved (no pun intended) to be back in familiar toilet territory afterward?
Discuss.
[1] Said with a slightly different tone it means “Too expensive!” So if you are in a store and need to poop, you might also wind up negotiating a lower price. Double win!
[2] I even made popcorn in one of the Spanish ones on my mission by lighting a stick of deodorant. It was excellent for containing fire, and the cleanup was a breeze.
[3] See the toilet restaurant if you doubt this claim.
**This post was originally published at By Common Consent.
A few years ago, in a late night drive through Germany to Denmark, we encountered a toilet which cleaned itself after flushing. I was incredibly tired at the time, so finding it mesmerizing may have been a product of my fatigue rather than the remarkableness of the toilet. I believe we paid there to use the restaurant and it was worth every single Euro for that bathroom.
Most toilets in the Middle East have bidets. In some countries, they have the bidet attached to the wall and you hose yourself down after you are finished, leaving an inch or two of water on the floor.
I was in Amsterdam in 2007 and at that time, they had open-air urinals on the streets in some parts of the city. I don’t know if they still do that, but it was kind of shocking. Better than peeing on the street, I guess, which I also saw on that trip.
I don’t mind paying to use a restroom. I have gotten used to bringing my own tissue when traveling. I love bidets and want one in my American bathroom.
Several experiences in Japan.
I do like the heated seats and built in bidet function. What surprised me most though was the option to ‘play’ a flushing sound whilst using the toilet, because not only do you not want to see your neighbour, but you don’t want them to hear what you are doing either. Of course, that was ladies toilets.
I did once walk into the men’s toilets (empty) in a hotel in Nagoya – long story – and was extremely startled to see that the doors were literally only knee to neck.
I didn’t like the squatting toilets at all.
On the word ‘toilet’, that did once refer to washing and making oneself presentable. Toilet water is not from a toilet bowl, but is scented water.
Many of my nightmares involve public toilets – badly backed up, and/or with insufficient or no doors, or even no cubicles, just a room full of toilets.
My very strangest experience was the ‘bathroom’ in an old hospital (now demolished) maternity dept where my eldest was born. It had a lock on the door, and was only used by one person at a time. However, it contained one large bath, a separate shower, 2 toilets, and in the centre of the room (it was a big room) 2 bidets. I try and imagine under what circumstances the room might ever have been used communally, and fail.
1) Anyone who recalls “All in the Family” knew when the “King of the Kastle” (Archie) got off the ‘throne’. I spent some time at my older son’s house. Same kind of trouble, hall bathroom toilet could sit up and bark and the plumbing gurgles. If I just did “Number One” in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep, then I let it “mellow”, NOT for water conservation reasons (despite it being Northern California and they being metered), but as to not wake up my sometimes cranky daughter-in-law. Any more, and better to live with the noise…or I’d wait until the baby cried and as long as she was awakened anyway…
2) Supposedly Japan STILL has unisex bathrooms. I wonder if they still have the “Bejii ditches” (roadside bathroom trough). That was the first thing that blew my parents away when we lived near Yokota AB from ’63 to ’67. Do keep in mind that the Japanese are an extremely fastidious culture and think we “Gaijin” to be dirty. All an issue of perspective.
3) One of my fave scenes involving the “Gunny” (R. Lee Ermey) is when he directs Pvts. “Joker” and “Cowboy” to “clean the Head” (a name I likewise picked up and still use) and render it “So sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump.”
4) A “BM” didn’t HAVE to feel gratifying, but at least our Heavenly Father designed us so doing our business feels good…at times darned good.
5) If ever the Discovery Channel did a documentary on the 50 or 100 inventions that changed the world, I’d put indoor plumbing in the top five. As the actor sez in “History of the World, Part 1”, “It’s da new thing! Plumbing! (Plumbum in Latin) Get on the bandwagon! Pipe the (excrement) out of your house!”
When I was a child my parents took us to Mexico on vacation for Christmas. Seven children and a small camper makes life a little crowded. One campground we stayed at in Mazatlan had american style toilets but the water was scalding hot. Hovering was a necessity or you could be burned. On my mission in Australia we had what was called a dunie at one flat we lived in. It is a regular flush toilet only in an outhouse in the back yard. There were always spiders in there. Brown recluses were especially problematic.
in Spain our landlady had a regular toilet but she used the newspaper for toilet paper if you used one at a restaurant it was usually a squat one but if you stayed too long the business owner would pound on the door for you to hurry up
#4 – In the first “Crocodile Dundee”, Mick was confused by the presence of a bidet alongside the regular commode. He tells Sue Charlton “some nitwit put two dunnies in the bawthroom…”. Sue, at last catching on to Aussie slang, responds, “ONE Dunnie, ONE Bidet..” (European visitors would consider any hotel that didn’t have one in New York to be de-classe). Mick is perplexed and Sue at first attempts to explain the bidet’s sanitary function, then gives up. Mick fiddles with the fixture and realizing its purpose, leans out the window and shouts down to Sue, ‘Oh…for wawshin’ yer BACK-SOIDE!!”
When I was on my mission in Italy we nioknamed the bidet a ‘sock washer’ since we use the commode in the American fashion and simply endured the local toilet paper, which I swear was like 200 grit sandpaper.
It seems an appropriate time to share my poem:
Two pots there were in a yellow wood
And sorry I couldn’t use them both
And being uncomfortable long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
The flies and stench were very loath
Then took the other much more fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was shiny and flushed with care
But as for that the passing there
Had used them pretty much the same
Oh I left the other undisgraced
But knowing how food turns into waste
I knew that I would be coming back
And so I look back with relief and a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two pots there were in a wood and I
Used the one with flushing by
And that has made all the difference
Loved it. Huge fan of demolishing false assumptions. Great read