Let’s Talk About Sex (Weekend Poll)

by: wheatmeister

February 22, 2014

Sex education is a controversial subject in some places, and people have strong opinions about how it should be handled (or not) in the school system.  What do you think?

How should schools teach about sex? (Choose the answer you like best)

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Discuss.

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20 Responses to Let’s Talk About Sex (Weekend Poll)

  1. Proud Daughter Of Eve on February 22, 2014 at 5:25 AM

    Your poll doesnt match.

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  2. wonderdog on February 22, 2014 at 6:48 AM

    Is the question supposed to be “Do you pray before sex, after sex, or both?”

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  3. hawkgrrrl on February 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM

    PDoE: thanks, fixed it! wonderdog: LOL.

    *poll linked was accidentally one from over a year ago about women praying in church. No need to pray before sex. Sorry for the confusion.

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  4. Handlewithcare on February 22, 2014 at 12:33 PM

    I’m for teaching both in the home and out, teaching consequences and providing condoms. I don’t want my kids to die of ignorance. I figure this is the only way of offering them real freedom to choose, but I accept that it’s a scary course of action. We have even provided our seventeen old son with condoms as he’s been seeing his girlfriend for over a year now and we feel a responsibility to both our son and her. We hope he won’t need to use it, but we’re not stupid. I also think there are worse things than having sex with your long time girlfriend. We don’t live in a mormon environment, and temptation comes his way without him seeking it out, and we just have to stay rational. By the way, it would be my sweetest wish for him to serve a mission and marry in the temple, but frankly, what are the chances? Whatever comes of this, we have no influence if we become estranged, so we have to keep relationships as free of guilt and as constructive as we can.

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  5. IDIAT on February 22, 2014 at 9:15 PM

    I was a teenager in the late 70’s. Condoms could be had for $.75 at the local gas station. Do we really need to give them away?

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  6. Hedgehog on February 22, 2014 at 11:30 PM

    Sex education at my children’s school is very clear about consent, and what constitutes assault and rape as well, which is important. It’s a CofE school, so on the whole situated sex ed in terms of loving relationships and Christian values.
    I didn’t vote for the condom option, because providing information is one thing, providing the physical tools could be seen as encouraging experimentation amongst children below the age of consent, which they are at the time lessons are taught. They did get to learn how it should be used, and how to put it on though.
    Schools are difficult places to be handing out condoms when the majority of students are below the age of consent (16 in Britain), but also have students to 18 or 19.
    That said, at university I believe condoms were available from the health centre free of charge, but I believe the same is also true of family planning centres in this country.
    Of course the primary responsibility to teach should lie with parents, but too many don’t teach it properly.

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  7. Sarah Braudaway-Clark on February 23, 2014 at 2:04 AM

    I grew up in Oklahoma/Texas and sex ed was much more comprehensive than it was here in Utah. As a mom, I’ve had to pick up the slack and do a lot of the teaching so my kids aren’t confused by what’s been left out at school. (Middle child came home from her “maturation” program telling me all about eggs and sperm and fertilization but then said she thought the sperm got into the woman’s body via kissing. Thanks, Utah!) I know many, many parents who aren’t filling in those gaps. Conservatives talk a good talk in the state about how the responsibility for these things falls to parents. But when parents are dropping the ball, too skittish to teach their kids, or they’re lacking in information because no one really taught them, it would be nice if the schools could actually pick up the slack.

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  8. Geoff - A on February 23, 2014 at 5:27 PM

    20 years ago, when my daughters were in high school, I was president of the P&C and as a result of a extreme conservative teacher (who was also our bishop) wanting the Sex ed programme removed, we had a presentation of what the programme taught.

    As hedgehog says most of the programme was about self esteem, the right to say no at any stage, power inequality, responsibility, likelihood of pregnancy, what constitutes sexual attack, rape culture, healthy relationships, communication skills, etc with one lesson in a year on biology, and one on birth control, and how to of condom use.

    We thought it was a very positive, and good programme, and should continue, but that did not make the bishop happy.

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  9. Ken on February 23, 2014 at 7:02 PM

    It should be the parents role, not the government. Largely due to the fact the government is ineffective and just about everything. In New York City, (where sex ed is taught and condoms are freely provided) for instance, there were 31,328 abortions from black mothers in the City and 24,758 births to black mothers. Unless they are teaching abortion as a birth control method, sex education seems to be a dismal failure.

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  10. Mormon Heretic on February 23, 2014 at 7:52 PM

    Ken, judging from the number of unwed mothers, the parents are more ineffective at sex education than the government. You might want to see my post on Abortion and Crime. Would you like to see a higher crime rate?

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  11. hawkgrrrl on February 23, 2014 at 8:29 PM

    When the parents themselves were often pregnant teens, I’m not sure they are the best teachers of the next gen. Poverty is the usual cause of the stats you are citing, Ken.

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  12. Ken on February 23, 2014 at 9:15 PM

    The real issue is there are no consequences and the cycle is repeated as both of you are suggesting. Some programs incentivise unwed pregency with additional government funds. The reality is these kids will not listen to either parents or educators. They will, however respond to consequences.

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  13. Mormon Heretic on February 23, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    Ken, what consequences are you suggesting?

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  14. NewlyHousewife on February 23, 2014 at 11:10 PM

    I’m all for comprehensive sex ed. In Junior High, due to the high abuse rates among its all deaf students, at the school I was at students took a health class every year from 6th to 8th grade. I was still clueless when it came to sex (other than the brief lesson about birth control and a video on how women get pregnant the actual act was not discussed), however I was MORE than prepared for puberty. I think. We moved the summer of my sophomore year, and the sex ed class I took in high school was more about how teens do it in the woods next to the movie theater than anything else. But at least I got to see how STDs work with fun water reacting papers letting me know I managed to be one of two in the class with cups not infected!

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  15. Kristine A on February 24, 2014 at 12:44 AM

    One of the biggest weaknesses in sex education (from parents or schools) is what is consent. Consent, consent, consent. It must be obtained, and can be withdrawn at any moment that either party has second thoughts. No matter what they wear, drink, how they dance, even if they said yes 5 minutes ago.

    We aren’t teaching kids how to withdraw their consent if they change their minds. And we aren’t teaching our kids that IF you continue (boy or girl) after consent has been withdrawn, it is rape, and you are a rapist – because you did it without consent.

    I had a discussion online with a lot of mormons and almost all of them said it isn’t rape if it’s two teenagers that their hormones get out of control and one gives consent and then changes their mind. Because that’s a gray area, because they told them yes at first. I had no idea that it was impossible to say no to sex after you say yes to foreplay??

    p.s. my eight year old knows more about sex than I did at age 20, so at least that’s something.

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  16. New Iconoclast on February 24, 2014 at 8:53 AM

    Amen to Kristine’s comments about consent! (#15). Sometimes I think that clear teaching and communication about that might be a bigger factor in preventing teen pregnancy than we think. That, and we stop teaching young men that their urges are uncontrollable and that young women are responsible for setting them off.

    I don’t think there’s a lot of connection between my kids’ knowing the mechanics of reproduction, including methods of preventing conception, and their views on the morality of sexual activity. They were all homeschooled for the first few years at a minimum, and they got the birds and bees down at a pretty early age. We’ve always tried to be fairly open about discussing such things as a family, and we’ve focused on the impact of those decisions on the people involved, which has made a difference in the way my kids tend to view things.

    Unfortunately, a lot of parents would rather abrogate their responsibility to the school or to YW/YM, or (possibly worse) exercise their responsibility to fill their kids’ heads with all kinds of happy horsecrap it’ll take years of therapy to overcome.

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  17. hawkgrrrl on February 24, 2014 at 1:35 PM

    Kristine A is spot on. This is a huge problem. Kids do not understand what consent is and is not.

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  18. IDIAT on February 25, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    I agree that consent is the over riding concern, and also why sex should only fall between a husband and a wife. Every husband has experienced trying to initiate sex with his wife, only to be rejected. At least temporarily. Sometimes with some prompting, sometimes with some actions, sometimes with just a touch, that rejection turns into consent. However, that kind of back and forth takes trust and experience, something the average high school kid isn’t going to have with his girlfriend of the month. In other words, consent can be a minefield, even in long term committed relationships. All the more reason to discourage teenagers from engaging in sex so as to avoid any confusion or ambiguity over the issue of consent.

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  19. hawkgrrrl on February 25, 2014 at 3:34 PM

    Well said, IDIAT!

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  20. Geoff - A on February 25, 2014 at 5:56 PM

    As I said in #8 sex education in other places includes discussion of consent, and many other factors that influence the ability to say no, and respect for no.

    The rate of teenage pregnancy in Utah is 3 or 4 times the rate in places where there is this type of education – perhaps there is a relationship between these two?

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