Science vs. Religion (Weekend Poll + Jokes)

By: wheatmeister
March 22, 2014

Scientific knowledge makes you old.

Science and religion walked into a bar . . .

Joke 1:  How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

Joke 2:  During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning’s executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a rationalist skeptic.

The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, “I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me.” The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim’s neck. To which the rabbi said, “I told you so.”
“It’s a miracle!” gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go.
Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, “I believe in Jesus Christ the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost who will rescue me in my hour of need.” The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward thump! creak! …stopping just short of its mark once more.  ”Another miracle!” sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free.
Now it was the skeptic’s turn. “What final words have you to say?” he was asked. But the skeptic didn’t hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply.
“Oh, I see your problem,” the skeptic said pointing. “You’ve got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!”
Joke 3:  An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted “God help me!”, and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped.  A voice from the heavens boomed “You say you don’t believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?”  The atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!”

Between science and religion, which should we believe? (Choose the best answer)

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7 Responses to Science vs. Religion (Weekend Poll + Jokes)

  1. Hedgehog on March 22, 2014 at 11:12 AM

    Fun jokes, but I really don’t perceive science and religion as being in opposition, though I know some scientists and some religious folk try to frame things that way. Sadly though, I think, if this framing persists we all lose.

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  2. hawkgrrrl on March 22, 2014 at 5:46 PM

    I like to think all truth can be circumscribed into one whole, but I am often dismayed when I hear General Conference talks that take ill-conceived aim at scientific theories. In time we will regret that, the way that we regret BY’s claims of missionary work to the men on the moon.

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  3. Frank Pellett on March 22, 2014 at 6:30 PM

    Course, once we have a colony there, we can say BY just had he timing wrong. ;)

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  4. MB on March 23, 2014 at 6:59 PM

    Believe both. With a clear realization that our understanding of both is imperfect and incomplete and that classic philosophy can also be used to prove that our perceptions of both of them are illusion.

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  5. Miriam on March 23, 2014 at 7:05 PM

    Science and religion are compatible and measure different kinds of truths. Both require and employ appropriate means of measuring validity, but the measurements employed in each are often incompatible with the kind of measuring required in the other.
    .

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  6. Douglas on March 23, 2014 at 11:00 PM

    Various “Science” fields tend to have their dogmas as do religions. It’s all due to humon failings in the search for truth, even when done with sincerity. And not all, both in the realms of science or religion, are interested in the unvarnished truth.

    Think of “Planet of the Apes” when Taylor points out Zaius’ contradictory roles as Minister of Science and also Chief Defender of the “Faith”. Zaius’ response: “There is NO contradiction between Faith and Science…TRUE science.” Note that the Chief Defender of the Ape “Faith” doesn’t qualify “True” versus “False” RELIGION in their realm.

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  7. Brad on March 25, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    Einstein never had to explain that he was speaking as a man.

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