Refusing to Meet with the Bishop (Weekend Poll)

June 14, 2014

Don’t call me, I’ll call you.

When would you refuse to meet with the bishop? (Choose all that apply)

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19 Responses to Refusing to Meet with the Bishop (Weekend Poll)

  1. IDIAT on June 14, 2014 at 6:37 AM

    How about “Never”?

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  2. Jettboy on June 14, 2014 at 7:45 AM

    I think you skipped two important choices. “I would never meet with my Bishop” and “I would never skip meeting with my Bishop.” Polls here recently have been poorly considered.

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  3. a.j. on June 14, 2014 at 11:04 AM

    If I am not told why he wants to meet.

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  4. howarddirkson on June 14, 2014 at 11:05 AM

    Breaking news from John Dehlin’s Facebook page: “A quick update – My stake president has agreed to meet with me on June 29th, expressing a desire for de-escalation. The June 18th timeline has been suspended.”

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  5. hawkgrrrl on June 14, 2014 at 1:07 PM

    jettboy: Your wish is wheatmeister’s command.

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  6. Roger on June 14, 2014 at 4:11 PM

    I have never refused a meeting with a bishop. I have only regretted it once. I have requested to not have home teachers for years (or decades) at a time. I don’t fault Mr. Dehlin for such a request, I empathize. It is sometimes the only apparent strategy for not having to deal with misunderstanding or misattribution.

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  7. IDIAT on June 14, 2014 at 9:28 PM

    I can only presume the same poll results would follow had you inserted a member of the FP or Q12 for bishop.

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  8. hawkgrrrl on June 14, 2014 at 11:52 PM

    IDIAT: I dunno. The FP or Q12 has a double advantage in that a meeting with them would be unusual enough to pique curiosity, and the added bonus that they can’t call you to nursery.

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  9. fbisti on June 15, 2014 at 1:33 PM

    Other: When I know the bishop is practicing repeated and damaging unrighteous dominion and I know what the meeting is about. My SP once asked to meet with me after a few anonymous emails–requesting some intervention–I sent him about that bishop. I refused because I had nothing to gain by outing myself. The SP had already made clear his unwillingness to remove the bishop or even seriously call him to repentance. And previous to my emails several others besides me had counseled that action and as a result received negative attention from the SP. The SP thought a release after so short a tenure would “hurt him and his family.” [Regardless of the many he was hurting?]

    Notwithstanding our so-called covenant to “follow” our leaders. They can, at rare times in my experience (over 60 years), be arrogant jerks, or well-meaning morons without a brain in their heads–following only the manual, or never varying from the “direction” given by the SP. They sometimes need to be called to repentance, or released.

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  10. Geoff -Aus on June 15, 2014 at 3:54 PM

    It seems to me that one of the ways the priesthood is used, by leaders, is to deal with problem people one person at a time. One at a time they maintain their power and can pick off problem people one at a time, at their leisure

    Kate Kellys offence is that she is organising numbers, and is now being reduced back to one where she is easier to deal with.

    Whover is behind this does not seem to realise that those who agree that women should be treated as equals, will not remove their support from her, even if she is exed. Many will see that as proving her point, and the problem will increase, not dissapear.

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  11. New Iconoclast on June 16, 2014 at 7:11 AM

    I checked “never” because I am very fortunate – I trust my bishop. We just got a new one, and he and our last 3 have all been men I’d have no problems with. I’ve lived in my ward for 22 years. (There are a couple of men in our ward who, if they were called as bishop, I’d be more than a little wary of.)

    That said, as soon as this poll came out and I answered it, we released both of our EQ counselors (high-priestified one of them, poor sucker). Plus I’ve been commenting a lot on all of the ‘Nacle hoopla lately. And then I got a call last night asking me to meet with my bishop on Wednesday. So this could either be bad in a bad way or bad in a not-so-bad way.

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  12. New Iconoclast on June 16, 2014 at 7:14 AM

    #10 Geoff-Aus says, Kate Kellys offence is that she is organising numbers, and is now being reduced back to one where she is easier to deal with.

    Kate took a calculated risk – she told the First Presidency they were wrong, and asked them to pray about it to get their opinions straight. I think either outcome is probably acceptable to her, in a strategic sense. She’s playing the long game.

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  13. IDIAT on June 16, 2014 at 2:22 PM

    Exec Sec (ES): Brother/Sister Brown, Bishop Green asked me to give you a call to see if you could meet with him a half hour before Mutual starts this Wednesday at church. Would that work for you?

    Brown: Why does he want to meet with me?

    ES: I’m not sure if I’m at liberty to tell you. Are you saying your decision to meet with him depends on what he wants to talk about?

    Brown: Sort of. Why don’t you call him back and ask him if you can tell me the purpose of the meeting.

    ES: Okay.

    ES: Hey, I talked to Bishop Green and he said it involves a calling. Can you meet with him on Wednesday?

    Brown: Well, what calling is it? Is it something that will require my spouse to be present, cause the handbook says for a calling that requires a lot of time my spouse might need to present, too. He isn’t the kind of Bishop that asks the husband’s permission, is he? That is so sexist.

    ES: I’m not sure if I’m at liberty to say what the calling is. I know he sometimes wants both spouses present to make sure there are no conflicts or that that calling won’t be a burden on the marriage and family. Let me call Bishop Green back and ask him.

    ES: Brother/Sister Brown, I talked to Bishop Green. He said the calling doesn’t involve the need to speak to the other spouse. Can you meet with him?

    Brown: Well, 6:30 is a bit early. It’s when one of my shows comes on TV. How about 7:30 pm?

    ES: Well, that’s about when Bishop Green is doing stuff with the young men and young women. Would you like to come over around 8:30 pm?

    Brown: No, 8:30 pm is too late and it sounds like he just wants to get me alone in his office by myself with no one around. I’m available Thursday at 7:00 pm. Let me know if that will work.

    ES: Talked to Bishop Green and he’s got some family stuff going on Thursday.

    Brown: Well, he doesn’t seem to want to work around my schedule very much. Maybe he can meet with me right before church on Sunday or right after church.

    ES; He’s usually tied up in meetings until right before church, and this Sunday he has BYC starting 15 minutes after the block of meetings.

    Brown: Sounds like the Bishop is just too busy to make time for me.

    ES: Let me get back to the bishop and see if there’s a time he can accommodate you.

    ES: Brother/Sister Brown – thanks for your willingness to meet but the bishop said never mind, not to worry about it.

    Brown: Well, tell the bishop I am offended by the way you and he handled this whole affair. Don’t bother calling to remind me of tithing settlement because that’s a complete waste of time and none of his business, anyway. The Lord doesn’t care whether I pay tithing or not. I read that somewhere on an internet blog. Now excuse me while I go answer a poll about meeting with the bishop. Have I got a story to tell them! Good day and good bye. (Click)

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  14. Kullervo on June 16, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    I was always extremely unhappy about being summoned to meetings without being told what the meeting would be about, and I told my Bishop so, and usually asked why we were going to meet. It was never a big problem.

    I don’t like being summoned to meetings without being told what the meeting will be about in any circumstance, actually.

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  15. IDIAT on June 16, 2014 at 7:17 PM

    Kullervo #14- I’ve never been summoned to a meeting with a leader in 35 years of adult membership. I’ve certainly been asked to meet, but never summoned. I think only a law enforcement officer or judge can issue a summons.

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  16. Geoff -Aus on June 16, 2014 at 11:01 PM

    12 I have not heard her tell the First Ptesidency they were wrong. I don’t think you are necessarily assuming they are wrong by asking that they pray about something you feel strongly about, may even have recieved a witness of yourself.

    We are attributing motives, attitudes she doesn’t seem to have.

    Have you heard the interview with her on FMH, she did not seem to me as you see her?

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  17. New Iconoclast on June 17, 2014 at 6:58 AM

    Geoff, I’ve commented on this repeatedly. Words have meaning and Kate makes her living with words. Wording the mission statement of OW as it is worded is an intentional statement.

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  18. Kullervo on June 17, 2014 at 7:51 AM

    “Being asked to meet” with someone who holds a high degree of authority over you is a polite way of being summoned. And a legal summons is not the only proper usage of the word “summon.” But, whatever; I’m not going to argue it beyond that.

    Switch out “being summoned” for “being asked” and my comment still works. I’m not okay with being asked or summoned to meet with a higher authority without being told why. So I always ask why.

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  19. Meg Stout on June 17, 2014 at 10:00 PM

    If the meeting conflicted with prior commitments, I would not so much refuse to meet, but would ask for an alternate time.

    More often my problem is getting a time to meet with the bishop as early as I want, as when I recently renewed my temple recommend.

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