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Have you ever asked to be released from a calling?
Tags: Callings, gratitude, lay clergy, release, service
This entry was posted on June 9, 2012 at 3:05 AM and is filed under Church Policy, Faith, Mormon Culture, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Is there an option of:
“I asked to be released, but it never got done”?
When I was pregnant and on bedrest I specifically told the Bishop to release me and find someone else to work with Cub Scouts. He said he’d get around to it and it never happened. I relieved myself of the calling and never look back. Sure chances are whoever was in charge thinks I’m a flake, but I feel like my duty has been wiped clean.
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I did, once when I was 20. My marriage was falling apart and I was a counselor in the YW and with no advisers, it took a LOT of time. I was a full-time student and working part-time providing the only income we had. I just couldn’t do it. They understood.
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When I was first married they called me to teach 5 year-olds in primary. I was struggling with depression and wondering if going to church was what I even really wanted. When I tried to explain my concerns about the role of women in the church, I was shut down. I was released and we started attending a more welcoming ward with more people our age.
Calling me to primary was the worst thing they did for me. In my building it’s all the way in the basement and I was completely isolated. I didn’t know anyone in my ward and had made no friends at all.
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I have not only asked to be released, but I have also said no to callings. Frankly, I think the advice/command/whatever that we should never turn down a call is just something invented to make life easier for those who do the calling. church leaders can’t and don’t know what is going on in the lives of members. If we don’t protect ourselves and look out for our own interests, nobody will. I know, selfish. So be it.
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Yes. I asked to be released from a position in an EQPresidency. Stake President was a butthole about it. No concern for my family or myself. Said I was in danger of going to hell.
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I was gospel doctrine teacher and no longer had a testimony. For the previous year I had members of the class bear testimony at the end of each class. No one had any clue of my situation.
Prop 8 came along and the classroom became a weekly for prejudice-sharing as weekly assignments were made for prop 8 related activities. Having a gay son, it was the end of the line.
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I asked to be relieved of my calling as a Primary teacher so I could be with my now ex-husband as he dealt with some physical troubles.
Appreciate the people who shared difficult times they had.
About 10-12 years ago, I was called to the bishopric of a singles ward adjacent to our stake (we lived in UT at the time so the distance wasn’t too far). At the time we had four natural/biologic children between ages 5 – 14 and had just adopted a four-month-old. I went ahead and accepted the calling, although it seemed strange to me that they would give me an assignment which would keep me away from my family for a good chunk of the day every Sunday (my family was welcome to attend, but really, what were my kids going to do in the singles ward?). I really enjoyed working with the YSAs but did not like being away from my family for one or two nights per week and all day on Sundays (I had a pretty demanding job at the time as well). At one point the bishop finally asked me if I wanted to remain in the calling. I told him I was happy to serve but if he really wanted to know my preference, my preference was to be released so that I could spend more time in my family. It wasn’t confrontational, but I was honest. I was released about a month later.
I moved halfway around the world to get out of the Nursery.
I have not asked to be released, but have asked not to have a calling. Told the Bishop that I was just too busy with grad school and a young baby. He said ok.
Anyway, I have specifically been told by two different people that in talking with their bishop, their bishop told them that sometimes callings are just about filling a need and not really inspired or anything. I would guess that most of the time it’s just about filling a need.
I’ve been a “solo” male Primary teacher all of 2012 (and taught the prior 2 years as well). The bishopric has mentioned on multiple times that they have asked people to teach Primary with me as a “co-teacher” but that they “turned it down” – so it does happen. I don’t know why – it’s certainly much less demanding than my last calling as YM President with 60-70 YM (including 20-25 priests at any given time). This has been like a breath of fresh air.
I’ve generally always served where called, although I wouldn’t hesitate to give feedback otherwise. When I was in medical school and residency, working 100-120 hour weeks and with 3 children under 5, my leaders have always been understanding and basically never gave me any calling of significance. It wasn’t anything formal and I didn’t turn anything down, but it is just how it was.
But people apparently do turn down callings regularly in my ward here in SLC.
When I was in college, I was the ward mission leader. I tried very hard to go on splits with missionaries, teach new member lessons, and do a good job. However, the Stake mission president (an institute teacher) wanted me to attend a 7 AM meeting on Sunday mornings. Working late, I just didn’t want to get up that early. I told him that if that meeting was more important that doing actual missionary work, then I should be released. I was released shortly thereafter. The new ward mission leader attended the meetings, but did little else. But everyone was happy.
One of my best friends, who I served for two years with in the RS presidency, told me that everything in the Church is really about volunteering. Nobody should feel “forced” to do anything they don’t want to do. I listen to my heart. I know when it’s time to ask to be released. Just a few weeks ago I turned down a calling and I explained to the Counselor why I couldn’t/wouldn’t accept. He said he was glad he talked to me because “the key to inspiration is information.” I liked that. I would rather be honest and say I mentally/physically can’t do a calling then feel guilty later on for accepting it. I hear so many people talk about how miserable they are in their calling and I truly don’t believe that is how it should be.