understanding

Healing After Betrayal

January 20, 2016
Healing After Betrayal

Mormons are a fiercely loyal group. We know this, and others know this. When I was pregnant, working full-time, and terrified of jumping into the financial insecurity of becoming a stay-at-home mom, an older co-worker I barely knew stated the obvious, “You’re a Mormon. You’ll be fine. Mormons take care of their own.” She was right, […]

Posted in Empathy, leadership, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, understanding | 48 Comments »

Why “Planted”?

January 6, 2016
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“We live in an age of doubt, but we need not be overcome. When we are planted in the Savior we can be nourished as much by our questions as by the answers.”  “Planted: Belief and Belonging in an Age of Doubt” is written by Patrick Mason and is a joint venture between the Maxwell […]

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Posted in Agency, Church Policy, Criticism, doubt, Faith, faith crisis, gender equity, Grace, Mormon Culture, Reviews, understanding | 22 Comments »

Read. This. Book.

January 2, 2016
Fresh-Courage-Take

Earlier this year I read the new release Fresh Courage Take: New Directions by Mormon Women, edited by Jamie Zvirzdin, who is also one of the contributors. It’s a book of twelve different essays by twelve very different women and how they have defined their Mormon womanhood. Their stories deal with almost every walk of life […]

Posted in Agency, Charity, Criticism, Empathy, Mormon Culture, Reviews, Spirituality, understanding, Women | 7 Comments »

A New Year, A New Start

December 31, 2015
A New Year, A New Start

The fun musical pieces I enjoyed listening to with my children growing up include John Rutter’s musical fables, particularly “The Reluctant Dragon”, and “The Wind in the Willows”, sung by the renowned King’s Singers, and based on children’s stories written by Kenneth Grahame. The closing songs of each are particularly poignant, and the closing song […]

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Posted in Church Policy, emotions, Empathy, Freedom, Grace, LDS, Mormon Culture, Music, Uncategorized, understanding | 4 Comments »

Defending the Family vs. No Paid Leave

December 8, 2015
Defending the Family vs. No Paid Leave

A recent article in the Washington Post highlighted that despite pro-family rhetoric, many religions do not offer paid family leave to employees.  Mormonism was highlighted as providing no paid family leave to either men or women [1], although they were consistent with a few other conservative religious groups.  Given our focus on families, why doesn’t the […]

Posted in Agency, Charity, Christian, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, debt, economics, Education, Empathy, Feminism, Freedom, gender equity, General Conference, LDS, leadership, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Patriarchy, Politics, Religion, understanding, Women, workplace | 21 Comments »

Duty Bound to Reject it!

November 18, 2015
policy

Wheat & Tares welcomes guest poster Bill Reel once more for a discussion on the recent policy changes. The recent policy change on Same Sex couples has opened so many new questions, ramifications and doctrinal contradictions that in spite of our being burned out and numb by all this, it needs be revisited.  I hope to […]

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Posted in Agency, Apostasy, Bill Reel, Blind Obedience, Charity, Christian, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, Doctrine, doubt, Empathy, Excommunication, Faith, faith crisis, LDS, leadership, LGBT, Mental Health, Morality, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Politics, scriptures, theology, Truth. Lying, understanding | 92 Comments »

Loyalty Is a Tricky Virtue

November 10, 2015
Loyalty Is a Tricky Virtue

All is not well in Zion, folks.  Relax, I’m not going to attack anything more than what deserves to be called out.  I’m certainly not going to talk about church leaders either–they can speak for themselves on this as on all matters. Rather, let’s talk about ourselves, fellow Saints.  Let’s take a good look in the […]

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Posted in Agency, Apostasy, Blind Obedience, Charity, Christian, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, doubt, emotions, Empathy, Faith, faith crisis, Grace, Jesus, LDS, leadership, LGBT, Mental Health, Mitch Mayne, Morality, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, New Testament Sunday School Lessons, Politics, Pride, Prophet, Religion, scriptures, Spirituality, understanding | 59 Comments »

Untouchable

November 5, 2015
Untouchable

From the newly changed Church Handbook, posted without comment. Children of a Parent Living in a Same-Gender Relationship A natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing. A natural or adopted child of a parent living […]

Posted in Agency, Apostasy, Blind Obedience, Charity, Christian, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, doubt, emotions, Empathy, Excommunication, Faith, faith crisis, Freedom, Grace, LDS, leadership, LGBT, Mental Health, Morality, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Patriarchy, Politics, Polygamy, Prophet, theology, understanding | 79 Comments »

None of Your Business

November 3, 2015
None of Your Business

There are many stories shared online about busybody ward members who pry into people’s private lives, either with good intentions or not.  Sometimes these are simply tactless questions about personal matters like the state of one’s marriage or lack thereof, one’s children or lack thereof, or one’s church attendance or lack thereof.  In a church […]

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Posted in Agency, Charity, Christian, Criticism, Culture, emotions, Empathy, Faith, faith crisis, Feminism, Freedom, gender equity, LDS, Mormon, Mormon Culture, understanding, Women | 29 Comments »

Religious Freedom: Are The Religious The Biggest Threat?

September 17, 2015
Religious Freedom: Are The Religious The Biggest Threat?

In light of speeches on religious freedom coming from top church leaders, and concerns expressed by family and other church members locally here in Britain recently, I wanted to take a brief look at this topic. Here, at least, I don’t think the rhetoric from the top is helpful. In Britain we have the Equality […]

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Posted in Agency, Europe, Freedom, Religion, Uncategorized, understanding, workplace | 39 Comments »

Jumbled Thoughts on Forgiveness and Justice: Mediation and Seeing Others

September 3, 2015
Jumbled Thoughts on Forgiveness and Justice: Mediation and Seeing Others

“Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that […]

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Posted in Agency, Charity, debt, Empathy, Grace, Jesus, theology, Uncategorized, understanding | 13 Comments »

Untwisting Our Twisted Thinking

September 2, 2015
Untwisting Our Twisted Thinking

In follow up to Jon G’s post, we have another guest post, today from long-time commenter Heber13. As I’ve thought about the Jon G post on Blaming Parents vs. Mourning with Those Who Mourn and the many responses that include inducing guilt or looking back at how parents “should” or “could” avoid losing children by […]

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Posted in Agency, Apostasy, Blind Obedience, Charity, Christian, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, Doctrine, doubt, emotions, Empathy, Faith, faith crisis, Freedom, General Conference, LDS, leadership, Mental Health, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Patriarchy, Politics, Polygamy, Pride, Prophet, Religion, theology, understanding | 25 Comments »

Blaming Parents vs. Mourning with Those Who Mourn

August 31, 2015
Blaming Parents vs. Mourning with Those Who Mourn

Today’s guest post is from Jon G. Like many of you, the fifth Sunday lesson in my ward was on Sabbath day stuff. That’s fine, and it troubles me not at all. In fact, I think that it would be of great benefit to make our Sabbath worship more meaningful. However, we watched a clip […]

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Posted in Agency, Alternative Sunday School Lessons, Charity, Christian, Criticism, Culture, doubt, emotions, Empathy, Faith, faith crisis, Freedom, LDS, Mental Health, Mission, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Politics, Religion, understanding | 106 Comments »

Ankles, Earrings, & Hedges

July 24, 2015
Ankles, Earrings, & Hedges

Recently I got into a discussion about Elder Bednar’s “second earring story” in which an RM at Ricks College broke up with a young woman who didn’t remove her second pair after hearing Pres. Hinckley recommend it during a CES devotional. Someone commented, “Boy, she really dodged a bullet, eh?” I laughed and one of […]

Posted in Blind Obedience, BYU-Idaho, Honor Code, Mormon Culture, Prophet, Uncategorized, understanding | 17 Comments »

Authenticity: Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?

June 16, 2015
Authenticity:  Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?

It’s a common claim among participants of Mormon internet groups that people feel they cannot be themselves at church or can’t say what they think for fear of being ostracized.  They feel they are discouraged from being honest or authentic, that they would be rejected if they disagreed with the party line or articulated a non-conforming […]

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Posted in Agency, Charity, Christian, Culture, emotions, Freedom, Jesus, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Uncategorized, understanding | 16 Comments »

My Wrongs Are Washed Away

May 14, 2015
My Wrongs Are Washed Away

  I’ve been in primary for about the past ten years in every capacity. There’s a song we often sing for Baptisms: “When I am Baptized” I like to look for rainbows, whenever there is rain And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again. I want my life to be as clean […]

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Posted in Doctrine, Mormon Belief, Mormon Discussion, theology, understanding | 17 Comments »

The Myth of Traditional Marriage

March 17, 2015
The Myth of Traditional Marriage

According to the song, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage.  But when it comes to the history of marriage, pairing marriage with love is putting the cart before the horse.  If we look at why people used to get married, traditionally, we’ll quickly see why marriages today are less stable.  And why […]

Posted in Agency, America, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, economics, Education, emotions, Europe, Feminism, Freedom, gender equity, LDS, money, Morality, Mormon, Mormon Culture, understanding, Violence, Women | 73 Comments »

Today’s Press Conference: Double-Edged Discrimination

January 27, 2015
Today’s Press Conference:  Double-Edged Discrimination

In today’s press conference, LDS leaders encouraged church members to support anti-discrimination legislation while continuing to oppose marriage equality.  You can find a very local perspective here, slightly less local here or downright global perspective here.  A few quick highlights: LGBT people deserve the same basic rights as all individuals:  equal access to housing, legal protections, […]

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Posted in Agency, America, Christian, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, doubt, economics, Education, Freedom, LDS, leadership, LGBT, Morality, Mormon, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Politics, Pride, understanding, workplace | 34 Comments »

Are Doubters Welcome?

January 20, 2015
DoubtersWelcome

Wheat & Tares welcomes guest poster Bill Reel: Host of “Mormon Discussion Podcast” There is an epic war of ideology occurring right before our eyes in Mormonism. There are people lining up to take various sides. The trouble is the lines have been blurred and the average onlooker is perhaps not seeing things as they […]

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Posted in Apostasy, Bill Reel, Church Policy, Criticism, Culture, Doctrine, doubt, faith crisis, gender equity, History, Joseph Smith, Latter, LDS, leadership, Mormon Belief, Mormon Culture, Mormon Discussion, Prophet, theology, Uncategorized, understanding | 35 Comments »

Tolerance is a Two-way Street

January 17, 2015
Tolerance is a Two-way Street

The word tolerance is an oft thrown about word these days. It’s rather easy for us to be tolerant of like-minded people or ideas, but becomes increasing difficult when people differ. The dictionary definition (according to Merriam-Webster) is “willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own.” The secondary definition is […]

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Posted in Agency, Uncategorized, understanding | 15 Comments »

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